tsk tsk. its hard to be a nice guy

like the saying goes.... its hard to be a nice person. well, it sort of proven its existance last night. hasty decisions, tight pressuring and fuck-ed up attitudes. hmm, if being a nice guy brings such craps back to myself, i rather watch people die, cry and beg for mercy as though a meteor is 1mm above their puny heads.

i helped you.

you scowl at me.

i watch you die.

you curse at me.

why not you tell me what can i do to make you feel better?

i'm tired of pleasing everyone. why do i have to be at such sacrifice. my eyebags. my wallet with threads loosening, forming tiny holes soon huge. my time. my parents. can i be like some of those out there who doesn't care a single shit and just do the things i wanna do, IN MY WAY? can i voice out my displeasure bout everything openly without considering anything too?

what makes you special and what makes me special? BITCH WE ARE BOTH HUMAN. mofo.

caught in the midddleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Morale Booster.

wow time flies. years back we're classmates studying same stuffs, joking and fooling around. who knows, a blink of an eye, she's now holding a prestigious job and its my dream job! she's an air stewardess! gosh~
it really hits me hard to see people around me blooming and moving steady fast in life while i'm still stuck in NS with the pathetic education level. now i really understand why my parents always ask me study hard for O's. i promise, i'll make sure my children will do that or daddy's gonna spank ASSSS!
though its rather demoralizing but then, i'll take this opportunity to know more and ask more bout the job so that i'll be doubly prepared for the interview. hahaha.

what i need now is just some hardwork and effort.
- diploma
- third language ( to secure my position )
- complete NS.

and then.......................................

SIA HERE I COME~

ON-LEAVE

weeee~ on leave for this week. boring man, army is really damn damn damn boring.
okay, lets see what i'm up to recently,

back to playing basketball. hahaha
hanging out in cybercafes to play my past-time games( counter strike, dota & etc)
walking aimlessly in shopping malls.
video games in arcades
grabbing of sweets and plush toys in machines

hahaha just trying all the activities i miss ever since i was enlisted.

hmmm those guys from my clique are going to serve thier NS too, one by one called up LOL. next is my dear cousin, bert T_T bon voyage LOLS

realized

last night i had a long chat with a long lost special 1 of mine. no doubts, there were lots to catch up and clarifications going on. then only to realize, people in this world nowadays, choose to hear stories and not read stories. thus, lots and lots of misunderstanding, sparks of conflict and heated arguement resulted. why wanna lose something cherishable in an expense of a ignorant act?

though its been long we talked to each other but den still i know she's still the same her maye with minor changes. her heart speaks words which brings a strong brew of hurts and sighs. signs of sick and tired of all these shit. now i know why she left me. i now realize too, if i was there for her, if i was alert enough to realize she's leaving to face all this alone, she wouldn't sound so battered. at least i know she won't trip and fall in my presence and i know i'll do my best to keep her protected, safe and sound.

hopefully things will be better now. since you're back here. don't go, leaving me ripped open.